For some reason it seems almost all mad geniuses end up in the hard sciences, mostly physics with chemistry and biology not far behind.
I would rather like to see:
1) A mad psychiatrist.
Could use conditional psychology to, for all intents and purposes, brainwash people into complete obeidience. Could drive patients mad in a single session. But, that's not thinking big enough. A mad psychologist could revolutionize psychology and reveal a new light on how we think, and how to get us to think, he could make repression work, causing trauma victims to become incapable of recognizing their assailants. He could teach a group of chimpanzees to think like humans, or humans to think like pigeons. With a careful application of delusions he could cure everyone of everything, or at least make them think he had.
The drugs he devises could realign the mind entirely to new purposes and ends, capable of creating abstractions impossible to achieve wtihout their influence. A whole new world could be opened up, or the old one shut down.
And, even if he doesn't have that advanced of a knowledge, psychotic lobotomies are always good.
2) A mad psychologist.
Pretty much the same as the mad psychiatrist, but more limited since she doesn't have access to drugs.
3) A mad sociologist.
Here's a fun one. Find him twenty-six orphans fitting his specifications, build the maze he designed last night, and a few tons of high grade cheese, and he'll have you the world in four years. Three if you wire speakers all over the maze.
This is one to watch out for. Perfectly willing to push just the right buttons to cause a society to collapse, or prosper, or hand itself over to him. Even more dangerous when he obtains a group of subjects to experiment on and engineer in isolation.
4) A mad linguist.
I absolutely adore this one. It's simple, really, create a short, brief, catchy phrase that is easily translatable across languages, but in all languages is impossible to getout of your head once it's wriggled in your ear. The perfect ear worm, and it just keeps repeating itself over and over in an endless loop, slowly changing the person until everything they are is merely a secondary cause of the ear worm. Whether this turns them into mindless zombies, has them comit suicide, become zealot followers of the linguist, or content and happy and carefree for the rest of their lives is up to the linguist in question. Of course, being mad, she'll hardly be perfect. The ear worm might behave erratically in different heads, or even do the opposite of what she desires. And, of course, she likely isn't safe from it either.
5) A mad architect.
Using the correct calculations he can build you a house that is larger inside than outside. No need for fancy vacum tubes and lightning generators, just brick, cement, maybe some wood for the supports, and workers dim or crazy enough to follow his instructions no matter how mind-shatteringly their perception is twisted.
His buildings exist in at least five dimensions along infite axies, so you never know where a door will lead or what a given window will look out on. Two windows next to each other: One shows a scummy parkinglot, the other reveals the barren wasteland of the Moon.
6) A mad economist.
At her worst, she'll buy your country and everything in it for a handful of beans.
More likely, she'll be in the background plotting bizarre and impossible economic strategies that will work, often having to act of a period of several years and often relying on others to listen to her so she can secure the necessary hammer to get things going. Bankruptcies of whole nations are the question of a few years for her.
7) A mad artist.
Okay, to be fair, this one has been toyed with a little, by Lovecraft no less. Still, I'd like to see it done with teh oever the top kind of absurdity that mad scientists get. Works of art that can inspire anyone to any emotion, no matter the extremity. Sculptures that defy dimensions. Performances that, no matter how implausible, no one can see to be fake. Art that creates a new state of mind. Or, maybe something worse...
8) A mad chef.
Yes, it's like a lesser version of a mad chemist, and basically amounts to someone creating incredible drugs from household supplies, but I love the idea of a cake so delicious no one can resist it, or truth-cupcakes, or a fillet minon that gives you vivid halucenations of your most likely future.
No living foods trying to kill people though, that would be silly.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
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